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Friends, I have a bit of a confession to make, if we can call it that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or particularly hush-hush over. It is simply something I haven’t talked about beyond personal conversation when the topic arises, and it’s been a thing for several years.

Here it is: I plan my own Mother’s Day.

Ha, it’s out! If it feels like I am sheepishly revealing this; I’m not. Otherwise, this would have a much different title, such as “I Plan My Own Mother’s Day: Why That’s Not Okay.” However, it is okay. It’s more than okay; it’s fun even.

In truth, several years ago this approach was a bit of an epiphany on my part. Let’s be honest, I know I am not the only mama on the planet that has felt overlooked or less than celebrated on her special days. To be clear, I am loved, and confident in that as I type on this topic, but in the past Mother’s Day sometimes fell a little flat. If you know me, you know celebration is a big deal. I love moments made into memories, and while I do not believe one must rent a DJ and hire an assistant to plan an epic event for every occasion (not at all - but it’s okay if you do!), I think celebration, especially personal annual holidays are special and deserving of their meaningful moment however big or small.  

My husband, to be frank, enjoys partaking and helping with events, but he DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT enjoy planning them unless he can accomplish them on a perfect epic scale. Therefore, until the day that he can quit his job, sequester crabs in the Mediterranean Sea to sing “Kiss the Girl” while personal drones drop dew like emeralds onto a maternal band of harmony, I may or may not get a Mother’s Day card. Yes, yes, I know, it’s Mother’s Day, therefore, my husband isn’t responsible right? Wrong. Until our kids become a certain age, I’m in charge of Father’s Day just as he’s in charge of Mother’s Day, and I am going to say it again. It’s okay if either of us needs a little help from the one we are celebrating to make it truly special without grudges or hurt feelings.

Also, before you are tempted to judge my seeming inability to be content with the sweet show of affection my children may lavish on me, that is not the case. I have a special place in my jewelry holder for my most treasured pieces with macaroni necklaces and hospital bracelets from each baby that I could never part with. I love them more than diamonds as well as the cards and other homemade gifts. I LOVE them. My DIY Mother’s Day plan does not exclude my loving crew, but assuredly includes them and their heart’s desires in special ways. Below I will highlight how that is the case.

Here are a few things I have done that may be helpful, if you think helping plan your own Mother’s day is okay for you too:

It’s OKAY to have it your way.

Let your expectations and hopes be known. Be specific on details that really matter to you, and give expectations to your spouse rather than expecting them to play the epic guessing game or having hurt feelings if they guess poorly. My husband truly loves having clear expectations or lists on such things, and it allows him to help guide the kids in learning how to listen to my heart and hopes. Thus, your “plan” does not diminish their choices, it guides them on how to connect their heart-felt expressions to yours - a fruitful pattern and lesson as they learn the importance of acknowledging and also sharing love languages in future important relationships.

It’s OKAY to decide what or where to dine ALL day!

Brunch is my favorite meal of all time.  Because Mother’s Day is THE busiest restaurant day of the year, I almost always choose to brunch at home. Though on occasion a free Mother’s day mimosa (or two) at my favorite restaurant is just too much to pass up! I do, however, often choose to eat out, order food, or make sure we have items for a simple snack or cheese board later, because Mama’s Day is just that - an entire DAY.  If it’s not bringing me joy, I don’t feel the need to make a meal unless it is for - you guessed it - MY MAMA.  Click here, and you will find a Brunch Board made to please and perfect for an easy Mother’s Day-In, especially during our Covid-19 quarantine. It turns out beautifully and is such a fun activity to let kids help make + eat.

IT’s OKAY to get AWAY!

This could mean a myriad of things. Do not hesitate to let your family know what this may look like for you. Maybe you want to get out with your crew and take a day trip to your favorite national park, scenic hike, or family park. Maybe you want to have a few hours to yourself, while you shop, rest, read, or whatever you please! It’s okay, mamas, if you need some alone time to refresh and reset. Meanwhile your family can use the time wisely to help make dinner or create those coveted macaroni necklaces. Last, but not least, maybe you want to plan a trip (we’ve done this more than once) and take your family on a Mother’s Day get-away. It’s so fun to pack up and land at your destination just in time to celebrate!

IT’s OKAY to let them PAY.

I’m referring to the little people with their pocket change. ;)  It’s such a simple way to teach them stewardship, and the priority + joy of giving of their time and resources for the sake of another. We also encourage the importance of creativity and homemade gifts over purchased items, but this last year when little T saved his birthday money and chore funds to spend on his siblings for Christmas, this mama’s heart burst! Something the kids have really enjoyed (we’ve done this for other occasions too - like family birthdays) is when we have purchased items beforehand and set up shop. The prices are certainly adjusted for my littles, and I wish I knew where to snag a pure leather wallet for $5 and a clear conscience like they do. If there is just one special item you desire, consider letting those sweet faces “go-in” on a joint gift for solidarity’s sake. 

IT’S OKAY to pick out your own bouquet. (I was proud of myself for this rhyme.)

Yes, I pick my Mother’s Day gifts. (Find this year’s HIVEhome selections here.) I have been doing it for years, except for that one time a couple of years ago when Matt got me an Alexa. Alexa and I did not get along very well, and she somehow lost her way into a very dark place where she can no longer hear anyone call her name. (I sound so very sinister and serial at the moment, do I not?) While I absolutely enjoy conversation and connection, I treasure quiet like jewels in my pocket. If I heard “Alexa, play the shark song,” or “Alexa, what is x, y, or freaking z” one more time, I might have lost my mind. Trust me, friends, save yourself. Make.a.list. and don’t feel bad about it. Or some obnoxious woman named Alexa might be in your kitchen talking to your kids like she owns the place.

Last but not least, it’s OKAY, to not plan your PAR-TAY.

I realize someone reading this might be tilting their head and thinking, “I love surprises,” or “I would have loved Alexa like my very own,” and that’s okay too. I’m not saying this is the right or only way. I’m simply saying (again) it’s OH-KAY. You do you! I’m not here to debate or challenge anyones beliefs about the sanctity of gift giving, nor should anyone read into this particular content too deeply. If this little blurb gives a smile or encourages another mama to own her day in her own way without looking back, in joy and for the good of all, then my work here is done, friends. 

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. Deep breath. It’s okay, mama. We are ALL going to be okay. Happy Mother’s Day!

Andea Beims

Hear What Matt Has to Say…

What’s on my Mother’s Day Wishlist this year?

More gift ideas from the honeys in the hive

CREDITS:

Author - Andea Beims

Photos by HIVEhome team-member + Honey in the HIVE - Jessica Collins of https://jessicacollins.photography. (Don’t miss you 50% gift card sale!)

Editing + Publishing by team-member + Honey in the HIVE - Andrea Haney.

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